Keep going boyo.
Bismi'llah arRahman arRahim. There is no refuge from Allah but in Him.
Bit of a limp title but that's what I have to tell myself today.Got a sore throat and cold yesterday which was a bit 'mis' .. too much time doing nothing ..too much time on the net which tires in a rather special way.
Spent quite a lot of time looking at other people's blogs and stuff about blogging.Mostly personal stuff which is not very interesting.(That reminds me that I have been meaning to go and find that piece on philosophy about unity and multiplicity...and copy and paste it in Sufistuff,for instance.)
Was awake in the night with all my old fears going.Fears about the afterlife and God because I seem unable to keep up a regular Islamic practice or stay with a jamaat.Fears about my present life because I've never been able to develop a profession of my own.
Bilquis says I got the cold because of a 'solution' i.e. I had stopped worrying about her health as she has got much better now.That is accordingto the medecine of Dr Hamer and it may well be true.
I have been doing loads of tapping especially around the themes of courage,will power and self discipline.Confronting things is always a big issue with me.When it comes to flight or fight I nearly always take the flight option.
I tried to remember what might have caused this in my early childhood ... just about everything actually! but Gary Craig says to be specific for increased efficiency ..and I remembered some pretty painful stuff (I suppose this should go in my EFT site shouldn't it .. but I just feel more comfortable continuing in here because one thing develops naturally out of another and this stuff is still'hot')
Being bundled off in the middle of the night in the car with hot water bottles to my grandmother's house.The anger and shouting and fear which my father used to try to control situations and us in the house.Always going away to Mrs Hart's house to find some refuge and warmth and happiness.Going off to the countryside for long walks on my own when I couldn't be there.Stuff like that.
It is hard for me to remember specific events.I have done some EFT with the more outstanding ones.I don't really like revisiting them.
Maybe I should get a therapist? It's not easy here in the Alpujarras.One lady does advertise herself in the local Parapharmacia though and I should really ring her.There is another one in Malaga but that is a bit far away and a rather daunting place for parking and all that when one arrives.
Phone for EFT appointment?

I should try to do something for myself.
- posted by longgone1 @ 4/10/2005 09:29:00 AM