The One and the Many.
Bismi'llah arRahman arRahim. There is no refuge from Allah but in Him.

You can now have a look at the article by Richard Hooker on The One and the Many, by clicking the title or on "Sufistuff",by clicking on the link above. (Oh that sounds very grand doesn't it!)
Anyway..it's a five minute respite for me from all my stuff.I should probably have studied philosophy at university .. it was/is what I'm best at at the end of the day,perhaps.I did have my name down for philosophy and English at Warwick University all those years ago .. I wonder what would have happened,had I gone there?
Is it really cowardice that stops me doing things?I certainly remember the nerves which I had going to the interview..not so much the interview itself,but more the staying in the hotel..the trying to find suitable clothes to go in.I remember distinctly a Gideon's bible in the drawer of the bedside table in the room where I stayed.
I can't really understand why other people could apparently 'do things' and I couldn't.What seemed so easy for some,was always such a mess and a hassle and an impossibility for me.It is so hard to separate the things which are outside influences.For example the fact that both my parents seemed to be very frightened and negative people.All the stuff at home which resulted in never having any normal home life..The big difference in age between my mother and father..(My father always reminded me "I'm an Edwardian you know Gregory.") ...Yes..some kind of harping back to and longing for those times of real 'Englishness' still went on in me even when we came back from Cyprus and I was around forty.I remember seeing Passage to India with Edward Fox ..or was it Ghandi? both probably..on the telly.
I'm not a great watcher of telly,I've never really been able to concentrate..There have been periods..Also I have always found things to be ,either completely Americanised or full of violence and sadnesses that I just could not stand.
However,there was a period there where I watched a few films and seemed so pleased to be able to watch them from beginning to end..(a feat which I had hardly ever accomplished.).
So .. as I was saying,some are outside influences..and some are personal or inborn characteristics. the old ' Nature - Nurture.' discussion.
In the midst of all the madness and sadness and fear and confusion the only thing that I had..and really still have perhaps ..was/is .. the concept of unity.
It came to me,as it may have done to so many people around that time, via ..we could say .. Zen and hashish.
If we look at the situation from an astrological point of view it may have something to do with a generational planet like Uranus which influenced a whole generation of hippy and alternative people. "Turn on,tune in and drop out." was the general motto that identified a whole new view and way of life.
Everyone was tired of what was on offer from education and the materialist society.We were looking for deeper answers which often came from eastern and far eastern philosophies and religions.
Phew! .. I didn't know I was going to get into this this morning!
It's what I tried to write to Pete about in one of my early mails to him,and then lost the lot.He was influenced by the same guy as me .. but more of that later.
I'm writing this in my dressing gown and pyjamas as usual and it's time to get dressed and have a little break from this .. so I'll just post.
Going back a little,before I forget(I see that I have this tendency to wander from point to point without really staying on the subject.) I just wanted to try to evoke the feelings as a teenager at school where all the other boys seemed to know about football and cricket and their rules and regulations and , I didn't.
When we went to Geoff's house they lolled back to watch the tennis and always knew what was going on ..but I somehow seemed to miss the point,or points.(Though tennis is one of the very few sports I did practice a bit..and one of the very few I've ever been able to watch for a while on the telly.)
I won't go into that more noww..It's kind of tempting..and if I knew how,is biography or biographical novel stuff.
That would somehow vindicate me and make some sort of sense of my life,if I could write a novel that appealed to people..if it helped to make some sense out of wwhat we are all going through.(I can't say that everyone I meet is exactly enchanted with the way present day life is going.)
Hey!There are feelings coming that life could be worthwhile after all..a little commiseration from others.I think of Clara who is really almost the only mutual friend that Bilquis and I have right now.I don't know why,and I won't try to explain to myself right now either.
There are feelings/thoughts coming as always,that if shaped..if,through writing for the blog and hoping to heard..I was writing for an audience..not only for myself and therapeutic relief..then...then...dare I say it? ..Perhaps,I could write a .... book (?)
Hey,I don't know .. always so timid and uncertain/indecisive ..it may come ..it may come.
I always start to get a little nervous when the posts get this long on Blogger ..what happens if I lose the lot just when I seem to be 'getting started'?
Apart from the 'wrong order' thing .. I think I'll just post this for safety's sake.
- posted by longgone1 @ 4/10/2005 10:48:00 AM